As a single whose faith is in Christ, what should our life look like as we wait on the one we will spend the rest of our life with? First of all, I think it should be largely understood that our perspective and perception of life is determined by the thoughts and imaginations of our mind. We interpret life and issues of life based on what we think, and how we feel. This is a very dangerous and a misguided approach. We should all know by now how deceitful the heart of man can be and how it misleads our perception of what is true. Even the prophet Jeremiah wrote, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
Never allow your heart to set the narrative of your journey. If you do you will always be inclined to hear the voice of your accuser and the message of hopelessness that leads us down a path of fear, defeat, confusion, and loneliness. I think a large problem for many single believers, is we are a new creation living with a mindset still being engineered by the world. But Paul wrote, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2).
If you go back and look at the curse placed on humanity in Genesis 3, you will find that according to the curse, the woman’s purpose was found in her husband, and the man’s purpose was found in his work. “…Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) “…By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground…” (Genesis 3:19). As the redeemed of the Lord, we are no longer under the curse, but have been made free. Our purpose is no longer one defined by a curse, but one defined by grace. We are liberated to live a life in service to His will, which is to prosper us, rather than defying His will, which then condemns us.
What - then should we not seek to marry as believers? Of course we should. It is the relationship ordained by God that embodies the function, government, and benefits of His love with perfection.
The original purpose of our existence was that of relationship, first with God, and then with each other. This is why the whole law is summed up in one command, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. The second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.” The only standard by which we could love another, was that of ourselves, until Jesus came and established a new standard, and this is why He set a new command, “Love one another as I have loved you.” The Apostle John wrote, “God is love…” (1John 4:8). So we were created by Love, for Love, to love. This was the purpose assigned to man, and why the scripture then says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” The woman was created for the purpose to be loved. The bride should always be the person of love’s pursuit, the prize of love's possession, and the glory of love's perfection. Paul wrote in Ephesians, “Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
The love-need, which we all possess, is one that can only be met and satisfied with the love we first receive from Jesus Christ. If any portion of our heart remains with a love deficit that we seek to satisfy with a relationship in the flesh, not only will it disappoint, but it will rule us and seek to redefine our purpose. This is why the perspective of a believer who is single should never be; I am alone, but rather, I am perfected or made complete by love.
Men, understand then, you are released to exercise the perfected authority of love, which is to provide and protect over the one pursued by your heart. And ladies, understand that you then can recognize what perfected love looks like, so that you do not fall for the counterfeit that will seek to rule over you - not lay down his life for you.